Flashback Friday: Wolf Mother

oops this published on a Thursday. hahah.  

  I really love how some bloggers like my friends Nicole and Jordan not only love to share, but also play with regular features (I love Jordan's calendar at the bottom of her blog and all of the projects Nicole takes on). In the spirit of telling a story I want to tell (albeit in random chunks since it's hard to ever know when a story starts) I am going to tell you all about a special friend of mine who guided me through many a dark and lonely night. My authentic Navaho wolf fetish sent to me by my deeply special Uncle Gary and Aunt Barbara who have been living in New Mexico for about a year now. 

Fetish: an object having a magical potency

7/31/10: Though the artist who carved it is Navaho,
the tradition is usually associated as Zuni in origin.
A fetish is an embodiment of spirit which carries with it characteristics
 of the animal from which one can draw strength.

    My pregnancy was really mild in physical symptoms and I think being pregnant suited me quite well, but I did not suit it. I found myself going through a lot of psychological tailspins, particularly because upon learning I was pregnant I quit smoking cigarettes, weaned myself off of five+ years of prescribed anti-depressants, worked six days a week while finishing three Independent Studies in order to finish my master's degree in Literature and well...other things that made the experience rather dark at times. Those 'other things' were circumstances that drove me to some of the most difficult bouts of depression and nightmares I had ever experienced. Luckily I had a lot of sages and support from other areas in life. This beautiful fetish was sent to me with a letter describing it's meaning and power. I received a quiet strength from this talisman and had it with me the day I gave birth to Addison. I clearly remember that energy emanating around me in the female community that stood before me as my baby girl was born. Here are the equally magical words that my uncle sent: 

The wolf is the pathfinder. It tends to point your way forward in the form of a flash of insight, the integration of which may be some time in the making and may require much work, but which is clarifying in nature. Wolves make loving parents, spending many months educating their young in the ways of the world. Therefore the wolf is considered the embodiment of the spirit of learning; of receiving and teaching truth. They are also known to be excellent mediators in family matters. They are highly intelligent and possessed of extraordinary problem solving skill, yet they are also playful in nature and sociable. The stone from which this wolf is made, augite, is considered to be a stone of healing...

When one is filled with self-doubt, hold the wolf in your hand and clear your mind. Focus on its ability to spontaneously express its inner truths and await its insights to flash upon you. You will be guided through the jungles of self-made untruths that block your path.

When you doubt the path you're on, envision the wold standing before you on that path. Let it stand there for a time as it assesses the way forward, then ask it how ou got off course and how to get back on it. Await the insight of its answer.

You may or may not believe in its magic, but we believe it to be, at minimum a helpful meditative tool with which to assess the way forward. We hope you see it as an embodiment of who you are and where you wish to go on your future journeys.

    I cried when I first read this and continue to tear up with each subsequent read. After learning all of this I started to feel a spiritual connection to the wold, and later found some more confidence and laughs from this:

Courage Wolf says, "When I find myself in times of trouble
I f*@# s*^t up!"

  RAWR! xoxo

S.M.I.L.E.//What It's All About

Since Mamahood I've Learned Endlessly...

...and with motherhood, smile you will...even if it's through your teeth sometimes

This is the feature that gave me the final impetus to start this blog. While pregnant I tried to cram as much knowledge into my cranium as possible and any mama knows that EVERYONE will give you their two cents when they know you're expecting. Living life became a virtual textbook tour of all things to come....but, you can never be too prepared! Motherhood (to be fair, parenthood) will give you opportunities to learn so many things NO ONE ever told you (or at least you totally forgot until you EXPERIENCED it!)

October 24, 2010. 24+weeks prego. A belly full of baby and random people's advice

SMILE is a fitting acronym for all of those random profound (or pretty crazy) things I am picking up along this wacky, fun, challenging, exhausting, BEAUTIFUL journey.

I hope you share some of your wisdom too!